A Pat on the Back
by Warrior Queen 21
Summary: Bones has had the perfect day, untill Spock informs him that he's knocked the captain out cold. First ever Start Trek fic


A/N: Yeah, my first ever Star Trek fic! Hope you like it

A/N2: 09/07/11 – Today is the day I decided to edit all my fanfics…I've discovered some horrible mistakes and decided that enough was enough, and edited it. But I'm still human, so if you see any mistakes, please let me know.

Disclaimer: Don't own it

Today is the perfect day. There were no patients in the sickbay…they were not in the middle of a bloody war and most importantly - nobody was there to see him drinking out of his flask at 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

Yes, today is the perfect day….

"Bridge to Med Bay."

Scratch that…today would have been the perfect day. Bones groaned.

"What have you done now, Jim?"

"The captain has done nothing wrong. I require your assistance." Oh great…he was even worse than Jim.

"How may I be of assistance…Commander?" He said that last word through clenched teeth.

"I need your medical assistance. I seem to have accidentally knocked the captain unconscious."

Several painfully long seconds passed, before Bones laughed.

"Haha…oh good God. I seem to be getting older by the day. I thought I heard you say you knocked Jim out. My hearing has gone faster than I thought."

"Your ears are still functionally correctly. I have knocked the captain out." As soon as Spock said correctly…Bones sprang to action. He grabbed everything he thought he would need and ran out of the Sickbay. The people who were walking in the corridors didn't step aside for Bones, they practically dove out of his way as he came running past. He was legendary when it came to hypo sprays. When he entered the Bridge, he took a deep breath and was ready to give Spock the reprimand of his life…when he suddenly stopped dead in his track.

Spock, hands behind his back was looking over Jim, who lay on the floor…a huge bruise was forming over his left temple. Uhura was practically rolling on the floor laughing very hard. Sulu was trying not to laugh…but that didn't stop him from grinning like an idiot. And Chekov was kneeling next to Jim, crying. "Why did he have to die? He was so young."

"What the bloody hell is going on in here?" Bones yelled. Uhura started laughing harder (if that was even possible) Sulu stopped grinning, and he started laughing instead. And poor Chekov nearly had a heart attack.

"What have you done? You green blooded hobgoblin!" Bones yelled at Spock kneeling next to Jim. Sulu had grabbed Chekov by the T-shirt, giving the doctor his space…and saving Chekov from a sedative.

"I merely patted him on the back." Spock said matter-of-factly.

"You… patted him…on the back?"

"Yes, that is correct." Bones turned to Uhura for help. There was no way in hell he was going to know what happened if he asked Spock. When Spock wanted to avoid a question…it would be easier to find the meaning of life than trying to pry the answer from him.

When Uhuru quieted down enough to be heard, she said

"Spock was tired of Kirk telling him he needed to be more human. So one night he asked me what he could do to please him, but still be very Vulcan. So I told him the next time Kirk tells him of something he's achieved, he should pat Kirk on the back and tell him well done." Uhura started laughing again. Before Bones lost his temper, Sulu continued the explanation.

"About ten minutes ago, the captain came in and told everyone that he'd finally gotten a date with nurse Chapel. Commander Spock then went and patted the captain on the back. But I think the Commander forgot how fragile we humans are in comparison with Vulcans. Because instead of just patting him, he accidentally sent the captain flying into the control panels…knocking him out."

Bones could only stare at Spock. He was ready to tackle Spock personally when realization dawned on him.

"HA! Thank you, you hobgoblin! Thank you, thank you…there is no way in hell; I'm going to let this bastard go on a date with my top nurse. She'll never function properly when he's done with her."

Bones was awarded with two raised eyebrows instead of one.

So you (yes you)…please let me know what you think. Should I go sit in a corner and die because I have written a horrible piece, or should I go running in the streets screaming: "Yeah me!"

Let me know…..


End file.
